'Eyyy. I'm not going to do a recap of some sort over my life work the past weeks, so I'll be doing something about yesterday and today...
So yesterday, seemed like a pretty okay day. I was really frustrated throughout the day, tired of school, stupid people, homework, absolutely everything... I thought it would get better after school, like I'd get home, do homework, the usual, but instead I got home, and tried doing my homework. I couldn't though. I didn't understand a thing, so I started breaking down, crying so much my throat started to feel tight. I couldn't grasp the concept of whatever was going on in math. I cried hard. Then I figured, the teacher wouldn't assign us homework when she hasn't taught us yet right? So I wanted to ask my friend once she got on Facebook chat. Once she did, I tried talking to her, but every time I clicked on her name to talk to her, Facebook would just bring me to the home page. I started crying again out of frustration. I felt like everything was out to get me, which isn't the nicest feeling to have on a Thursday evening, one day away from Friday. Luckily my friend replied to a message thread between my friends, so I asked her through that. Turns out the math homework I didn't understand wasn't part of our homework. So I started working on the homework that was part of it, and resumed crying. I really did not understand a thing. I couldn't comprehend what it was asking me. I didn't want to deal with math anymore by then, so I just put it aside and started doing AP World History notes. I fell asleep without finishing.
Today, I woke up, went to school, had a fairly average day, and then went home. My friend came over and we messed around for a bit. Best part of my day, even though what we did was slightly boring... Anyway, when I got home today, I found a note on the door from the U.S. Postal Service. The wigs I ordered last Sunday came in, but there was no one home at the time, so now I have to wait for tomorrow to get the wigs. Ackk. I really can't wait for that. That'll probably be the best part of my weekend. Hands. Freaking. Down. I planned to work on cosplays with my friend this weekend too, so the wigs would be great to have.
But now my plans are ruined. I can't work on cosplays, and I can't do anything I want to do. I'll be stuck in the house doing SAT practices all freaking weekend. Even though it's a 3-day weekend, I can't have a day off. I have to study every freaking day. I really don't want to. I want to finish the stupid cosplays. I'm tired of being behind. I'm seriously pulling it too close to the deadline. Aughhh.
What makes everything even worse, is that when I'm feeling down, I really don't like to let people know. I know it's not healthy. I know it's bad for me. That's why I blog. It's basically all I can do when I'm feeling down. That and crying. I usually also draw, or read manga, but recently, I've read a lot, so I've been kind of bored reading. This resulted in my trying to draw. Usually I have positive results, but today I died. I couldn't draw. I plugged in the tablet, opened Corel, sketched something out, and I just couldn't. I don't know why. I have an image in my head, but I can't draw it. I just can't. So now I'm stuck with blogging and crying. I started crying from the start, and I'm still crying now.
Man, I really wanted to make this a brighter blog, but I seriously can't. This is like the only blog no one goes to so I might as well post here.
What makes it better is that I figured out that I'm one of the only people studying for the freaking PSAT test. All my friends are doing something fun this weekend.
Screw it.
I wish I were a hermit.
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