Lost

If I said I cried, would you believe me?
Would you come here and comfort me?
I doubt you would, but I'll still ask.
Because I really am crying inside.

Yeahhhh. I've been crying way to much recently.
It's sad. I mean. Seriously lame.

But anyway,
at school I'm having problems. .-.
I can't seem to find a place to fit in.
My current "friends" are crazy.
They gossip a lot that it really blows my mind.
I wonder where they hear all these rumors.
High School is lame.
I don't really know if I should consider them friends.
I mean I really hate it when they gossip,
when they talk about high school things.
All they talk about is who did what, who's going out with who,
who's a slut, who's an loser.
Everyday at lunch too. It gets seriously annoying.

Another thing that seems to piss me off
about my "friends" is their picky-ness
They're picky about absolutely anything.
I mean, the type of music they listen to, the food, ANYTHING.
I know it's normal to be picky about those things,
but their picky-ness is beyond normal.

For music, in P.E. on run days the coaches play a CD.
My friend in that class hates everything on that CD.
It ranges from Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus to Linkin Park
to Lady Gaga and then to Country even.
She always makes comments on the songs like,
"I don't like this song", "This song sucks", "This song is lame",
"Lady Gaga sucks, "Taylor Swift can't sing", "Country is stupid".
It's the same thing every time.
I mean I always listen to her complaints.
It's so lame, everyday. Ugh.

And the same P.E. friend
and another friend I have sit together at lunch.
I sit with them, of course,
cause the other table I would sit at is infested with Prep freaks.
All they talk about are the dances.
Even if one is over, they talk about the next one.
I can't stand dances. I hate them to the core.
A serious waste of money.
Another thing they talk about is a girl
that they all hate because she was a good liar.
She deceived all of them.
I would applaud her,
but her methods were terrible.
The way she told them she was lying was horrific.

But anyway (I'm getting off topic),
during lunch my group of whiners
whine about their lunch.
It's terrible. They're so picky.
One hates anything served in the cafeteria.
If she hates it so much, then she should just
bring lunch from home. I mean seriously.
She'd buy a bag of sun chips and iced tea,
sit down and eat. I'd ask her if that's all she's going to eat,
and she'd reply, "Yeah, the school food is gross."
It's almost everyday she buys the same meal.
The only days when she doesn't is when
she buys pizza when the school orders pizza from Papa Johns.
I swear she's unhealthy. And her mom says she's going
to have high cholesterol and she wonders why. Hah.

My other friend is not as bad though.
She's just picky about the amount of pizza sauce.
She absolutely hates too much sauce.
She always scrapes it off on the side of her tray.
Also, she used to not eat the school's bread rolls.
I personally love the bread rolls.
Every time they'd have bread rolls on the lunch menu,
she'd throws hers away. Talk about a waste.
I mean, I'd like it.
So I asked for her bread once,
and she said, no I'm going to eat it.
Like really. No. She ate half of it.
After a while though, she started eating the whole thing.
I guess she came to like it? Or she was hungry.
But I really doubt hungry.

My old friends were the complete opposite.
They'd eat everything, and we all enjoyed music.
We'd talk about the most random things ever too.
Never usually had to do with school,
unless it was before a test or something.
I told my new "friends" that my old friends and I would talk
about random stuff, sometimes even politics.
Their outstandingly expected reply, "That's boring."

I miss my old friends.
The only reason why I had to make new friends was
because I had no classes with my old ones.
Makes me sound hermit-y, but that's true.
For the first few days of school I was, or more like felt, lost.
I didn't know who I could become friends with.
I felt shockingly more hermit-y than I did during the summer.
And in the summer I didn't go out at all really.
My new "friends" became my friends because I had a lot of classes with them.

I wish I could hang out with my old friends more.
I see most of them in a the hall now and then.
The max I see my friends is like 10 minutes.
Per day mind you.
The rest go to another school.
I really do miss my friends.
I miss them a considerable lot.

Now that I've come to realize that I hate my current "friends"
I can't go back, so I'm constantly putting up a fake face.
I feel like my whole life is a lie.
I can't go back to my old friends,
cause they've got new groups too.
They still are the same though.
We all have meet-ups regularly with our old friends,
and we all haven't changed,
but at school I can't do anything.
I don't want to bother them.
I really don't know what to do.
They're succeeding at life.
I'm the only one stuck.
I feel lost again.

I think that's all I really want to say for now.
My only happy time is on Gaia,
which is going to be limited soon
because of my super Asian dad.
I'll rant about that later.
Cause I'm tired, and I just
want to stop everything.
Including time. If only I could.

Oh yeah. I just came up with that lame jibberish above.